The Meaning of Forbearance
Hilm linguistically: is rational deliberation, the opposite of fury. Its plural is: ahlam and hulum.  Maqayis al-Lughah, Ibn Faris (2/93); Lisan al-`Arab, Ibn Manzur (12/145).
Hilm technically: is controlling the self and its inhibitions from incessant rage.  al-Mufradat, al-Raghib (p. 253). The Difference between Forbearance and Some Other Characteristics  al-Furuq al-Lughawiyyah, al-`Askari (p. 179, 199, 575); Sharh Riyad al-Salihin, Ibn `Uthaymin (3/573).
● The Difference between Forbearance and Patience (Sabr)
Forbearance is delaying deserved punishment. Divine forbearance with the disobedient is that Allah delays punishing them and changing their state of wellness. Patience is controlling the self as it encounters what it dislikes. The patience of a man: is his controlling himself from showing inability (jaza`). Inability is the afflicted showing the signs of his suffering.
● The Difference between Forbearance and Deliberation (Anah) and Gentleness (Rifq)
Forbearance is that a person controls himself when angry. If he is angered whilst able to act, then he is forbearing in not punishing immediately and not being hasty in his punishment. As for deliberation, then it is not being hasty in all one’s affairs, and that one does not simply take the superficial nature of events for granted, and so is hasty and gives a verdict over a thing before carefully analysing it. Gentleness on the other hand is to treat people gently regardless of what they deserve of punishment.Encouragement towards Forbearance in the Qur’an and Sunnah
❖ Allah, exalted, says: “Hurry towards your Lord’s forgiveness and a Garden as wide as the heavens and earth prepared for the pious, who give, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger, and pardon people - Allah loves those who do good.” Al `Imran: 133, 134.
❖ He also says, exalted: “Take to pardoning and command what is right: pay no attention to the ignorant.” al-A`raf: 199
❖ Abu Sa`id al-Khudri, Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Prophet of Allah ﷺ said to Ashajj `Abd al-Qays: ‘You have two characteristics Allah loves: forbearance and deliberation.’”  Reported by Muslim (18).
❖ Abu Hurayrah, Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Prophet of Allah ﷺ said ‘The strong one is not so due to his physical prowess, rather it is he who controls himself when angry.’”  Reported by al-Bukhari (6114) and Muslim (2609). Quotes of the Predecessors and Scholars on Forbearance
❖ `Ali ibn Abi Talib, Allah be pleased with him, said: “Goodness is not that your wealth and progeny increase. Rather, it is that your deeds increase and your forbearance becomes great, and that you beat the people in your worship of Allah: if you do good, you thank Allah, and if you do bad, you seek His forgiveness.”  Reported by al-Daraqutni in al-Mu’talaf wa al-Mukhtalaf (2/1062); Abu Nu`aym in Hilyat al-Awliya’ (1/75), and this is his wording, halted at the companion’s level.
❖ Wahb ibn Munabhah said: “Knowledge is the intimate friend of the believer. Forbearance is his minister. Intellect is his guide. Deeds show his value. Patience is the commander of his armies. Gentleness is his father. Softness is his brother.”  Reported by Ibn Shahin in al-Targhib fi Fada’il al-A`mal (249), and this is his wording; Ibn `Asakir in Tarikh Dimashq (63/388).
❖ `Ata’ ibn Abi Rabah, Allah have mercy upon him, said: “There is not a thing more adorned when coupled with another than forbearance with knowledge.”  Reported by al-Darami (576) and this is his wording, and al-Bayhaqi in al-Madkhal ila al-Sunan al-Kubra (507). Impacts of Forbearance and its Benefits
The forbearing gains Allah’s pleasure and His reward. The forbearing is great in status, lofty in station, praiseworthy in his affairs, and all are pleased with his actions. Forbearance is a sign of sound intellect, tolerance, and self-control. It acts to enhance amiability and love between people’s hearts. It removes hate between people, prevents envy, softening hearts. Its possessor deserves the loftiest stations and most perfect reward.  Nadrat al-Na`im, authored by a number of scholars (5/1752), with adaptation. Means to Acquiring Forbearance
Reminding oneself with the abundant forbearance Allah has shown His slave. Allah, exalted, is forbearing. He sees the sin of the sinner and his going against His commands, so delays him. Allah, exalted, says: “Know that Allah is forgiving, forbearing.” al-Baqarah: 235. Remembering Allah’s reward for those who pardon others. Allah, exalted, says: “Hurry towards your Lord’s forgiveness and a Garden as wide as the heavens and earth prepared for the pious, who give, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger, and pardon people - Allah loves those who do good.” Al `Imran: 133, 134. Showing mercy to the ignorant. Having the ability to overpower the other. This is a result of tolerance and self-confidence. An example of this is the Prophet ﷺ pardoning Hatib ibn Abi Balta`ah, Allah be pleased with him. Having the grace not to reciprocate a misdeed with its like. This is a sign of dignity and having high aspirations. Being gracious with the maleficent. Examples of the Forbearance of the Prophet ﷺ, Companions, and the Righteous Predecessors
❖ The Prophet ﷺ reached the epitome of forbearance and pardoning. The prophetic Sunnah is filled with situations of the Noble Messenger ﷺ exercising forbearance. Among those is the story of the bedouin who pulled the Prophet ﷺ from his clothing with a severe yank. Anas ibn Malik, Allah be pleased with him, narrates: “Once, I was walking with Allah’s Messenger ﷺ and he was wearing a cloak from Najran with a thick margin. A bedouin followed him and pulled his cloak so violently that I noticed the side of the shoulder of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ affected by the cloak’s margin because of that violent pull. The bedouin said: ‘Muhammad! Give me some of Allah’s wealth which is with you.’ Allah’s Messenger ﷺ turned and looked at him. He then laughed and ordered that he be given something.”  Reported by al-Bukhari (5809) and this is his wording, as well as Muslim (1057).
❖ A man cursed `Umar ibn Dharr; his reply was: “You there, be not excessive in cursing us and leave room for conciliation. We reward he who disobeys Allah in treating us with naught more than that we obey Allah with him.”  Reported by Abu Nu`aym in Hilyat al-Awliya’ (5/113) and this is his wording, and al-Bayhaqi in Shu`ab al-Iman (8106).
❖ A man said to `Amr ibn al-`As: “By Allah, I shall free myself just for you!” He replied: “Now you’re doing proper work.” The man said: “It’s as if you’re threatening me. By Allah, if you say one word to me, I’ll say ten back to you.” He replied: “By Allah, if you say ten to me, I won’t say one back to you.”  al-`Iqd al-Farid, Ibn `Abd Rabbih (2/275).
❖ A man cursed al-Sha`bi, so he replied: “If what you said is true, then Allah forgive me. If it is false, then Allah forgive you.”  The previous source (2/276). Poetry and Proverbs about Forbearance
❖ “If evil befalls you, then remain still.” Meaning, be forbearing and not reckless with it.  The previous source (3/40).
❖ The poet said:
“Surely, one’s forbearance is the loftiest attribution
Which a nobleman may boast about in honour.
So, Lord, grant me from You forbearance, for I
See the forbearing never regret their forbearance.”  The previous source (2/104).